The Cherished Queens The Beauty of Polygamy by Imam Daglas

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IMAN DAGLAS
The Cherished
Queens
The Beauty of
Polygamy
DARUSSALAM
in Islam and
The Wisdom Behind it
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THE CHERISHED
QUEENS
The Beauty of Polygamy in Islam and the Wisdom Behind It
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By: Iman Daglas
دار السلام
DARUSSALAM
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Table of Contents
In the Name of Allah,
the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
Introduction
It's Hard
Jealousy.
Maktaba Dar-us-Salam, 2022
King Fahd National Library Cataloging-in-Publication Data Daglas, Iman
The Cherished Queens The Beauty of Polygamy in Isalm
and the Wisdom Behind it. /Daglas, Iman -1.- Riyadh, 2021
245 p: 14cm X 21 cm
ISBN:978-603-91772-8-9
1-Polygamy
I-Title
254.1 dc
1444/620
L.D. no. 1444/620 ISBN: 978-603-91772-8-9
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CHADTER 1
CHAPTER 1
The Cherished Queens
And:
transgressors -"(23:5-7)
قَالُوا لَبِثْنَا يَوْمًا أَوْ بَعْضَ يَوْمٍ فَسْتَلِ الْعَادِينَ )
The Cherished Queens
"O Allah! There is no comfort, but the comfort of the hereafter." (Bukhari and Muslim)
"He will say: "Ye stayed not but a little - i known!" (23:113)
if
ye had only
And:
و إنا نحن تي وَنُمِيتُ وَإِلَيْنَا الْمَصِيرُ ( )
"Verily it is We Who give Life and Death; and to us is the final Goal -"(50:43)
And:
يَتَأَيُّهَا الْإِنسَنُ إِنَّكَ كَادِحٌ إِلَى رَبِّكَ كَدْحًا فَمُلَقِيهِ )
Chapter Twe
Jealousy
Just the thought of writing a chapter on jealousy feels like I may be opening Pandorra's Box. It may become the endless chapter; there is just much that can be said about jealousy. It's an emotion that we all have; yet, we are taught at a young age
"O thou man! Verily thou art ever toiling on towards thy Lord - Painfully toiling - but thou shalt meet Him." (84:6) to
And:
ويُرِيدُ اللهُ أَن يُخَفِّفَ عَنكُمْ وَخُلِقَ الْإِنسَنُ ضَعِيفًا )
"Allah doth wish to lighten your (difficulties): For man was created weak (in flesh)." (4:28) Abu Hurariah related that the Holy Prophet said: "The world is a prison for the believer and the paradise for the
disbeliever."(Muslim)
Anas bin Malik related that the Holy Prophet said: "To spend one morning or evening (ie. carrying Jihad) in the
suppress it. There are so many different forms of jealousy,
but for our purpose here, we are talking about the jealousy that developes when, either, our husband mentions the idea of polygamy or when he marries another wife. It's perfectly normal for a woman to feel jealous over her husband. It's a natural feeling; if it were not, Allah, the Almighty, would not have given us the emotion. However, like everything in this Life, it's a test how we deal with this all-consuming emotion that they call 'The Green- Eyed Monster'.
Ibn Qayyim wrote in his highly esteemed book, 'Al Fawa'id':
"How perfect is Allah! In the soul of man is the pride of Iblis,
cause of Allah is better than the world and whatever is in the the jealousy of Qabil, the insolence of the people of 'Ad, the
world." (Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas Bin Malik relates that the Holy Prophet said:
tyranny of Thamud, the temerity of Namrud, the arrogance of Pharoah, the wrongdoing of Qarun, the trickeries of the people
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CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 5
The Cherished Queens
Chapter Five
Ivey (ehor) tuot
Society
As Muslims, we should not only think of how our actions affect ourselves and our family, but what lasting impact will my actions have on society as a whole. We are all part of a much larger picture. From the most miniscule choices made to our most momentous actions undertaken; they all have the potential to effect people that we may never come into contact with. Everything has a ripple effect.
Allah, the Almighty, says in the Holy Quran:
The Cherished Queens
statement three times. His Companions asked him, 'who is he, O Allah's Messenger?' He replied, "The person whose neighbor is not safe from his injurious conduct."(Bukhari
and Muslim
"He is not a (true) believer who eats his fill when his neighbor beside him is hungry."(Mishkat Al-Masabih)
"To Allah, the best friends are those who are best to each other, and the best neighbors are those who are best to each other."(At-Tirmidhi)
"Angel Gabriel kept exhorting me about the (good treatment of) the neighbor to the point that I thought he would grant him the right of inheritance." (Bukhari)
Allah, the Almighty, says in the Holy Quran:
كُنتُمْ خَيْرَ أُمَّةٍ أُخْرِجَتْ لِلنَّاسِ تَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَتَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَتُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللَّهِ
وَمَا مِن دَابَّةٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَا طَيرٍ يَطِيرُ بِجَنَاحَيْهِ إِلَّا أُمَمٌ أَمْثَالُكُمْ مَّا فَرَّطْنَا فِي الكِتابِ مِن شَيْءٍ ثُمَّ إِلَى رَبِّهِمْ يُحْشَرُونَ )
"There is not an animal (that lives) on the earth, nor a being that flies on its wings, but (forms part of) communities like you. Nothing have We omitted from the Books, and they (all) shall be gathered to their Lord
in the end." (6:38)
Our Beloved Holy Prophet said: "He who believes in Allah and the Last Day must not harm his neighbor; he who believes in Allah and the last Day should honor his guest; he who believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or
remain silent."(Bukhari and Muslim)
"By Allah! He will not be a (true) believer." He repeated this
144
"You are the best of people raised for the good of mankind: you enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah." (3:110)
And:
لُعِنَ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا مِنْ بَنِي إِسْرَاءِيلَ عَلَى لِسَانِ دَاوُرَدَ وَعِيسَى ابْنِ مَرْيَمَ ذَلِكَ بِمَا عَصَوا وَكَانُوا يَعْتَدُونَ كَانُوا لَا يَتَنَاهَوْنَ عن منكَرٍ فَعلُوهُ لَبِسَ مَا كَانُوا يَفْعَلُونَ )
"Those amongst were cursed by the tongue of David and Jesus, son of mary. That was because they disobeyed and persisted in excesses. They did not forbid one another iniquities, which they committed. Evil indeed was that which they
the Children of Israel who disbelieved
CHAPTER 5
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MHARTER
CHAPTER 3
The Cherished Queens
The Cherished Queens
Chapter Three
Doubts
you
wouldn't
Doubts. I would be lying to you if I said that have a million doubts if faced with your husband deciding to marry again. It's natural. It makes us doubt ourselves in ways that few other things will. We doubt our self worth. We doubt our love. We doubt our femininity. We doubt our choices. We doubt our decisions. We doubt everything that has led us up to this point in our lives. Doubt is a natural response to a highly stressful situation.
When faced with this flood of doubts, we must be kinder to ourselves. It's time for some self-love. Don't be so harsh on yourself. In retrospect, we all make mistakes. We could have always done things differently. We could have done thing better. We could have been a better person; a better Muslim a better wife; a better mother, however, we must remember that what Allah, the Almighty, has written for us will come to pass. If this is His Will, no matter what we did, it would have happened. We also need to remind ourselves that, no matter what our mistakes were, we did what we thought
the time.
Allah, the Almighty, says in the Holy Quran:
94
was best at
قُل لَّوْ كُنتُمْ فِي بُيُوتِكُمْ لَبَرَزَ الَّذِينَ كُتِبَ عَلَيْهِمُ الْقَتْلُ إِلَى مَضَاجِعِهِمْ وَلِيَبْتَلَى اللَّهُ مَا فِي صُدُورِكُمْ وَلِيُمَحِّصَ مَا فِي قُلُوبِكُمْ وَاللَّهُ عَلِيمٌ بِذَاتِ
الصُّدُورِ )
had remained in your homes, those
...Say: "Even if you for whom death was decreed would certainly gone forth to the place of their death"; but (all this was) that Allah might test what is in your breasts and purge what is in your hearts. For Allah knoweth well, the secrets of your hearts." (3: 154)
These kinds of doubts are normal, and maybe even a little healthy. We should always look back on the choices we have made with an objective eye to try and make better choices in the future. With self examination and retrospect, we can learn from the past. We can learn from our mistakes and come forth a better person. What is not healthy is doubting Allah, the Almighty, Islam and the Holy Prophet. Allah, the Almighty, has allowed polygamy whether we like it or not.
Allah, the Almighty says in the Holy Quran:
وَإِن خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا نُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُم مِّنَ النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلَثَ وَرُبَعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلَّا تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَنُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلَّا
تعُولُوا م
"If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if fear that shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess.... ...(4:3)
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CHAPTER 7
The Cherished Queens
any do desire a this life; We shall give it to him; and if reward in the Hereafter; We shall give it to him. And swiftly shall We reward those that (serve Us with) gratitude." (3:145)
And:
فإن مع العسر قران مع المتر ترم
"So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief: verily, with every difficulty there is relief." (94:5-6)
And:
(0:33,545)
رَبَّنَا إِنَّكَ رَءُوفٌ رَحِيمٌ
"Our Lord! Thou art indeed Full of Kindness, Most Merciful." (59:10)
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The Cherished Queens
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Dar Al - Kotob Al - ilmiyah 2009
A Glimpse at the Beauty of Islam
By Al-Arabi Abu Hamzah
Edited by Abdul Rahman Abdullah; formerly Raymond J.Manderola of Fordham University, U.S.A. Darussalam 1999
abuaminaelias.com
Brookings Review Policy Brief August 1, 1996
An analysis of out-of-wedlock births in the United States Adapted from "An Analysis of Out-of-Wedlock Childbearing in the United States", which appeared in the May 1996 issue of Quarterly Journal of Economics By George A. Akerlof and Janet L. Yellen
Carpenter Smith Consulting.com
Choosing Happiness; Notice Your Life
Gratitude and Forgiveness
By Elisha Goldstein Ph.D August 1, 2016
European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Polygamy and Mental Health of Adolescents By Sami Hamdan, Janet Auerbach and Alan Apter
239
BIBLIOGRAPHY
The Cherished
Queens
The Beauty of
Polygamy
DARUSSALAM
I am not an expert on Islam, nor am I an expert on marriage. I am not a psychologist nor a marriage couselor. I am simply a Muslim woman who has learned a few things along this long and bumpy road of life. Consider me an older sister, who cares about you and only wishes to give you the best advise that she knows. It is my hope and prayer, firstly, that this book pleases Allah, the Almighty. Secondly, that it may help someone going through what can be a truly tremoulchious time in their life, or even open a dialogue about a subject that can be very difficult to talk about. Thirdly, I pray that this book is Adjar for me when I am gone. I want to thank Allah, the Almighty, for guiding me to Islam; for bringing me from the darkness into the Light! Alhumdulillah!
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