Road To Recovery Healing From Domestic Violence

Page no:1Road
to
Healing from
Recovery
Domestic Violence
Rahmanara Chowdhury

Page no:2CONTENTS
Introduction
Section 1: Putting Domestic Violence into Context Chapter 1 What is Domestic Violence? Chapter 2 Key Points of Note for Every Victim Chapter 3 The Truth about Patience (Sabr) Chapter 4 Recovery and its Emotional Rollercoaster Chapter 5 Special Powers at Your Disposal
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Chapter 6 Stages of Recovery
Chapter 7 Tips for the Road to Recovery
Section 2: Why do Men Abuse?
Chapter 1 The Mutaffifeen
Chapter 2 Influences on the Way we Think
Chapter 3 Attitudes Underlying Abuse
Chapter 4 What the Prophet Taught Regarding
Treatment of Women
Chapter 5 Dealing with Feelings of Anger
Section 3: Common Abusive Characteristics and Tactics
Chapter 1 The Abusive Character
Chapter 2 Tactic 1: Controlling
Chapter 3 Tactic 2: Isolation
Chapter 4 Tactic 3: Manipulation
Chapter 5 Tactic 4: Terrorising
Chapter 6 Role of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Chapter 7 A True Islamic Personality
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Page no:3Chapter 1
WHAT IS DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE?
Domestic Violence has been defined by the UK Government as, "any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to:
> psychological
> physical
> sexual
> financial
> emotional."
The definition of domestic violence was recently changed to include the 16-17 age group, thus demonstrating how widely the whole issue of domestic violence extends and how it has now sadly filtered into the younger generations. I would like to add to this definition that spiritual abuse is also a part of domestic violence. This may take the form of using false spirituality as a means of control or attacking the spiritual identity of an individual so as to deprive them of their spiritual beliefs and practices. This concept will be explored further in later chapters.
1 https://www.gov.uk/guidance/domestic-violence-and-abuse

Page no:4Chapter 3
THE TRUTH ABOUT
PATIENCE (SABR)
Although the issue of patience is a key point about which certain things need to be remembered, there are in fact many misconceptions surrounding it and much false information given, particularly to those who are wronged and therefore it needs to be addressed on its own.
So often I have heard women say to me that they went seeking help and they were sent back with the advice to 'remain patient' or 'have sabr'. Sadly, this kind of advice can actually be very foolish, especially knowing that some of those women were sent back to extremely dangerous and harmful situations that could have been avoided had more people had a better understanding of the reality of patience and domestic violence.
First of all, being told that you need to remain patient implies that you have not been patient all this time and are not dealing with things as best as you could. For a victim going through domestic violence, this could not be further from the truth. You will know how much you had put up with before you even entertained the thought of speaking to anyone about your situation, let alone actually seeking help.
"Patience does not mean suffering in silence."

Page no:5Road to Recovery is a sympathetic and reassuring guide for Muslim female survivors of domestic violence and abuse. It is a companion book to the Road to Recovery Programme developed by the author but can be used as a stand-alone resource to aid in the recovery process.
It contains:
• A comprehensive look at the various forms of domestic violence and abuse
⚫ Practical advice on how to get through the aftermath of abuse including self-care, setting goals and parenting
Emotional support and understanding of the obstacles faced in the recovery process
Both an Islamic and psychological approach in order to gently guide survivors within their recovery journey.
Rahmanara Chowdhury holds a Masters in Psychology and is currently completing her PhD in domestic violence and abuse within the UK Muslim population. She has worked closely with survivors of domestic violence and abuse, and frequently delivers workshops, training and seminars relating to domestic violence, and mental health and well-being.
She is the author of Qawwamoon: Protectors and Maintainers.
ISBN 978-1-84200-106-6
Ta-Ha Publishers Ltd www.tahapublishers.com
9 781842 001066