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Contents
Introduction
PART 1: HERE & NOW
Define Your Homecoming
Signs of Being Lost
3~ Less Salt, More Sugar
Reviewing Here & Now
PART 2: THE PAVED PATH
The Path to Disconnection
What's Passed has Passed
Meet Your Inner Child
Reviewing The Paved Path
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PART 3: COMING HOME
Reclaim Your Crown
Divorcing Blame and Shame
Who are You?
Power of Acknowledgement
Honour Yourself
Reviewing Coming Home
Letter for Your Onward Journey
With Gratitude
Capture the Feels
Appendix
Emotion Wheel
Bibliography
For the homecoming qu May these words light your -To your heart
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Introduction
'What the hell is wrong with you?'
S MY chest heaved, that question was on loop in my mind. It was
A 2012, and I'd just had a mega meltdown with my two children
at the time after another one of their high-pitched fights over whose turn it was to play on the Nintendo Wii.
As I think about it now, my reaction was ridiculous, but at the time, my veins were popping at the side of my neck; my throat was scratchy and sore; and my head was throbbing from yelling that they never listen to me, that I don't know how much more I could take, that I was done, done, done, and done. I felt undone with the weight of being a single mother; with the weight of my children's incessant bickering; with the weight of having to juggle their homework and my own work and feeling like there wasn't enough time to do it all. I felt undone at all my seams and exploded in the ugliest way. In a way I knew had nothing to do with them.
I was burning with a concoction of rage, shame, and fatigue as I stomped to the only space I felt comfortable to bawl my eyes out
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» Accepting less from others.
misty window, allowing my eyes to grab hold onto nothing at all, willing for him to move and disa In my mind, I knew something was off, and I kne to make. I could pretend that a complete stranger ha into my personal space and remain quiet, or could in the eye and tell him to move away from me. Asda palms together, I could choose either option, and swayed on the choice I made. Whichever option cho a signal of how I accept people can treat me, there
Being unable to accept compliments.
Struggling to see the good in myself.
Pushing away good that came my way.
Sabotaging progress I made.
Settling for less than I deserve.
Dismissing my accomplishments or downplaying them.
» Staying in situations that hurt me.
teaching him what I do and don't allow. It was at the This isn't an exhaustive list of how low self-worth can manifest, and finally made sense.
of realisation went off in my head, as the quote you might find yours manifests differently. At the core of all these
My choice wouldn't condone or condemn his
send a message of the treatment I will and won't tole regardless of whether the treatment is right or w the thing: it required me to determine what was rig how someone treated me, guided by how I valued
was at play. Taking a deep breath, I turned towar locking eyes with him.
"Excuse me," I said, firmly, "I'd appreciate it if yo some space."
When you know that self-worth is based on what feel you deserve as a human being, it's easy to rea opposite of that can create ripples of negativity with
things, 'I don't deserve better, 'I'm not good enough, and 'I'm not worth it.
Let's Do This
Feeling better about yourself requires that you see, feel, and believe you have intrinsic value just as you are. One of the ways I advocate to do this is a little journaling exercise where you answer the questions below.
Before you do, I want you to enter into a third person position, so you're thinking of yourself and talking about yourself outside yourself. So instead of 'l' answers, use 'she' or 'you' answers. It might also be helpful to answer the questions with your name - for instance, 'I love LáYínká's kind nature' instead of 'I love
In a journaling session one day, my pen betrayed the ways my perceived low self-worth manifested in my kind nature! my pen was bleeding red onto the page as the word
could no longer run from how low my level of worth
things I wrote were:
Not living my potential. >> Having low expectations of myself.
90 A Beautiful Homecoming
» What are ten things that you love about yourself? (Go beyond your physical traits here.) Yes, you have beautiful eyes, but think of your character, your strengths, and the positive things people have commonly pointed to you.
Reclaim Your Crown
