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Married Ever After
ALI HAMMUDA
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Contents
Married Ever After
First published in England by Kube Publishing Ltd, Markfield Conference Centre, Ratby Lane, Markfield, Leicestershire LE67 9SY,
The right of Ali Hammuda to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyrights, Designs and Patents act, 1988. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior permission of the copyright owner.
Editor. Zimarina Sarwar
Cover design and typesetting: Afreen Fazil (Jaryah Studios) Printed by: Elma Basim, Turkey
Introduction......
Marriage and your life's purpose What is marriage?..
As you approach marriage
Chapter One: On setting intentions
"And I did not create the jinn and man except so that they may worship Me."
Chapter Two: On aligning perspectives..
"And they have taken from you a firm covenant."
Chapter Three: On selecting criteria.
"Give to marriage the free singles among you, as well as the righteous of
your bondmen and bondwomen..."
Chapter Four: On understanding differences
"And the male is not like the female."
As you strengthen your marriage
Chapter Five: On inviting love and mercy... "And He has placed between you affection and mercy."
Chapter Six: On mutual consultation...
"And if they both desire weaning through mutual agreement from both of them and consultation, there is no blame upon either of them..."
Chapter Seven: On working together.
"Cooperate with one another in goodness and righteousness, and do not cooperate in sin and transgression..."
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Married Ever After
It is no exaggeration to say that a tsunami of family break- downs is battering the entire globe.
Clearly, something is wrong on a deeper level. To try to reverse this worrying trend, various initiatives have been put in place by governments: we now see marriage grants, group weddings, dowry-caps and even divorce exams and penalties put into action to stem the tide of family breakdown. However, these interventions can only have limited impact without addressing the root causes of marital breakdown.
The human heart is a vessel that has been created for the worship, glorification, and adoration of Allah. If this vessel is instead filled with the burdens and sorrows of marital dis- putes, then the truest manifestations of inner fatigue manifest, replacing the intended tranquillity of marriage with restless- ness, traction with distraction, and happiness with grief. The consequences of this ordeal extend like tentacles, constricting one's career, social life, community life, and, most importantly, spiritual progress. No food, sport or outings can do away with the lingering pain, leaving one at the mercy of the Most Merci- ful. How true are the words of Allah :
وَخُلِقَ الْإِنسَنُ ضَعِيفًا
And man was created weak. 18
So, bearing in mind this weak nature of ours, how times have changed, how important a stable household is to every form of wellbeing, the rising rates of divorce, and Shaytan's endless pursuit of dismantling families, we must respond in a way that is equal to the immense challenge before us through an honest and holistic retreat to the Book of Allah.
Allah said:
He also said:
What is marriage?
وَكُلَّ شَيْءٍ فَصَّلْنَاهُ تَفْصِيلًا
And everything We have set out in detail. 19
وَلَقَدْ جِئْنَاهُمْ بِكِتَابٍ فَصَّلْنَاهُ عَلَى عِلْمٍ
Certainly, We have brought them a Book which We have explained in detail with knowledge.20
The Qur'an also declares that:
مَا كَانَ حَدِيثًا يُفْتَرَى وَلَكِنْ تَصْدِيقَ الَّذِي بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ وَتَفْصِيلَ كُلِّ شَيْءٍ وَهُدًى وَرَحْمَةٌ لِقَوْمٍ يُؤْمِنُونَ
Never was the Qur'an a narration invented, but a confirmation of what was before it and a detailed explanation of all things, and guidance and mercy for a people who believe.21
Considering this, the 20 Qur'anic principles on which this book rests are universal (apply everywhere), timeless, and self-evident (their wisdom is immediately apparent to a balanced and fair human being). All the principles within this book are just as true in the world of human relations as the law of gravity is in the physical world.
With that said, let us begin our journey!
19 Al-Isra', 17:12. 20 Al-Araf 7:52. 21 Yusuf, 12:111.
18 Al-Nisa', 4:28.
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Married Ever After
Married Ever After is a guide through the marriage process based on 20 timeless Qur'anic principles, insightful Prophetic examples and contemporary research on maintaining successful relationships. We know all relationships involve struggle, and challenges are an inevitable part of a believer's life. Married Ever After teaches us how to pick the struggles that are worthy, rewarding and lead to the greatest pleasure.
Whether you are preparing for marriage, already in a marriage or contemplating ending one, Married Ever After is your companion, reminder and compass back to Divine pleasure at every stage.
Rooted in Islamic principles, we learn how our spiritual health impacts the wellbeing of our human relationships. The goal of Married Ever After is more important than ever. Learn how to revive the contentment at home, because successful thriving families are at the heart of a successful thriving Ummah.
A UK national of Palestinian origin, Ali Hammuda gained his BA and MA degrees in Architecture & Planning. He then went on to achieve a BA in Shari'ah from al-Azhar University and a Masters in Islamic Leadership Theory from Swansea University. Shaykh Ali is the author of Daily Revivals, The Friday Reminder and A Life with the Divine. He frequently delivers sermons, lectures and regular classes across the UK. He is the founder of Waqforever and a Senior Researcher and Lecturer for the Muslim Research & Development Foundation (London), an advisor for the Islamic Council of Europe and author for Islam21c.
